I don’t know why; I feel rejected and shame to God. There is a deep pain in my heart, it is too painful, .and I want/need an ‘anointing of relationship’ very much. Will pray for my increase in ‘wisdom in favor with God and people?’ but most of all, I need to restore my relationship with Jesus. I feel like I lost him somewhere; I just wanted to do my best, but now it’s like I’m seeking him in cloudiness. And I also ask for an intimate relationship with Jesus, Yeshua, and LORD to reveal himself through words. I want to know the TRUTH, so badly, the clarity of it, especially the cross, the love that died for me.